August 2010
1 post
July 2010
1 post
Sorry Tumblr,
I’ve neglected you for quite some time now..
What to say, what to say..
same shit different day.
Kansas in 6 days! <3
June 2010
2 posts
I just wanna go home.
No one understands how it feels to be so damn lonely living in this huge ass city. No one.
I hate it here.
Save me?
Me: Lol how am i special?
Him: You’re special in every way. From top to bottom. From your out going personality to your outstanding beauty. Every inch of you i’m full of passion that i can’t stand to not have in my life.
Me: Whoaaaa! Didn’t expect that. I’m so speechless i don’t even know what to say! Now are them sincere words or they some buttering words?...
May 2010
3 posts
KANSAS HERE I COME.
Definitely gonna text everyone right when i get there around what, 3 or 4am? yeeeeah! :)
If you wanna kick it, you gots to hit me up. not my responsibility to call and ask you if you wanna hang. i already know who i wanna kick it with. don’t say i’m shady if you not hittin’ me up!
OOHHHHH SO EXCITED! <3
5 days, just 5 more days
HOME SWEET HOME, HERE I COME!
13 more days;
Until i get to see all my friends in wichita <3 I’m so fuckin’ excited words can’t even explain. It’s been awhile since i’ve been on tumblr so why don’t i just update my life! Been shopping around for clothes & shiettt. Gotta get outfits for the graduations, parties, and clubbing! :D AWH SHIET! I’m so fuckin’ hyped about it.. Even tho...
April 2010
7 posts
;;
It sucks to think of the times we had, & i would sit there and cheese like hell.. but the thought that comes after? Is you did me wrong.. I think of the silly times we had & it’d make me so damn happy. Cause it was real. Or at least it felt real. It turned out all fake. It hurts.
i miss you.
Amazing how manipulating someone can be..
It is what it is.
All those lies you told. The sincerity in your voice. I believed it all. Come to find out, i was NOTHING to you. You amaze me. Words cannot even describe how appalled i am. You had my trust. I put my insecurites, doubts, and true feelings out on the line. You assured me that i was just trippin’ and thinkin’ too much that what we had was real. We was takin’ it slow. I know it...
WOW.
You had me fooled. You had everyone fooled. You got me good. This shit fuckin’ hurts. & i can’t even imagine how she feels. You were the only thing that made me fuckin’ happy. & come to find out about this shit? You’re amazing. You deserve an award. Fuckin’ amazing.
You are so fuckin’ dirty.
041210;
I don’t understand why i feel this way. Depression. Lookin’ at life as if it’s repetitive. Which it is. Same shit everyday. Feels like i’m livin’ from paycheck to paycheck. Like nothing is going anywhere. What am i living for? I come home to nothing. Next day wake up go to work, ugh i don’t wanna be at work. Then when i get home, i don’t wanna be at home....
Lose Lose Situation.
I come out and say it, i feel bad, there’s not really an answer, it gets no where.
I keep it inside, it eats at me, i wonder, i look, i see, i know i’m not crazy tho. I still lose.
what the fuck.
This feeling you give me.
I’ve never felt it before. I’ve never been into someone like you. You are completely different from a ‘type’ that i’m into. HoOoOd niggas. Hahah. You’re more than anyone can ask for. I never expected myself to like you this much in such a short amount of time. I’m falling too fast.. & i’m afraid. Sometimes i’m afraid to express how i feel;...
March 2010
6 posts
thuyyvii-deactivated20100504 asked: When do I get to see you again?!
diana-vo-deactivated20110907 asked: are you gay?
Damn. This feelin' you give me. I'm thinkin'...
Detachment,
I gotta learn how to not be attached. Specially when it’s so fuckin’ unnecessary. I need a big ass tattoo on my arm that says ‘detached.’ HAAAA!
Conveniency
It’s like you only talk to me when it’s convenient for you. I’m not a fuckin’ quik trip where you come and go as you please. Just stop please.
Guys drink to forget about girls. Girls drink to...
littlelinda:
inez:
I love this!!! and so true, ur fuckin’ great whoever wrote this. (via jmizpayo)
February 2010
6 posts
i know it’s wrong. i can still get out of this hole. but i don’t want to.
& yet, i still keep digging a deeper, deeper hole. That soon enough, there’s no other way but down.
I love the comfort that is given, yet i know it’s wrong. & if this is wrong, i don’t wanna be right.
020810;
I WANNA DO THE POSSIBLE & THE IMPOSSIBLE. I WANNA DO IT ALL.
JUST WATCH ME.
“I’ve realized that apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the...”
– (via diana-vo)
January 2010
7 posts
013010;
How can you miss someone you don’t even know ? How can you expect them to miss you especially when they know nothing of your existence on this world ..
I need to come back to reality and live my life one day at a time.
012810; HTOWN,
homeee! ugh so much shit to take care of! now i really gotta start gettin’ my shit together dawg. i always gotta stay busy so i dont think about shit. blahblahblah! i wanna go to wichita. i needa get a job get on my school shit and keep on workin out and thats only for me. havent even mentioned everything else thats been going on. GAWD.
FML, i dont wanna grow up.
012610;
good news & great news
good news? ; i’m going home to America tomorrow at 5 in the A.M.
great news? ; i might be going back to the DUB sooner than planned! HELLLA!
completely ooberly excited so many folks i wanna see ;)
012610; 4:43am
COULD NOT SLEEP FOR SHIT.
tried to start sleeping from 8 or 9. tummy hurted non stop, it TIGHTENED then relaxed and it kept repeating. throughout the night i kept tossin and turnin, back hurts and im on my period. i have never had such a terrible night of sleeping. its usually so easy for me to sleep! BUT WHO THE FUCK IS COMPLAINING HUH?! har har har .
my back hurts as if someone...
012410;
Thoughts that cross my mind:
I want that so bad.
Depression much?
I miss Wichita.
Where am i going with my life?
I always feel like crying.
I miss you.
& i miss you.
& i miss you.
& you.
I need it.
When will it ever come around?
Is this really the end?
What the fuck am i even doing with my life
I feel so damn alone.
012110;
Lately i’ve felt depressed then happy at the same time. I’ve had alotta dreams about having a guy around. Wake up feeling happy wantin’ to go back to my dream but.. nah. it don’t work like that. i needa lose more weight.. i don’t know what i want anymore.
i’m tired physically and mentally.
011010 deyamn 2010;
I’ma start by telling about my weird dream from the other night and last night :)
Dream from other night:
It started off so nice. I was huggin’ this guy and he was huggin’ me back, makin’ me feel somethin’ i ain’t felt in a real long time. That warmth of a guy around physically. The thing is? He had a girl. But he said he was in love wit...
December 2009
2 posts
121009; December December December.
Going by quite fast. Happy Birthday to all the December folks :)
— I’ve lost back my 2lbs that i gained recently. Now i’m working on some more weight loss. I hope it goes well. If not then i’ll be forced to go the city with my sister and brother in law and i DO NOT want that to happen. He’s gonna drive me mental.
— I went...
120709;
Wow, December’s here. The month seemed like it went by so slow yet so fast.
I’ve lost 15lbs and it’s kind of slowing down. My body’s getting use to my workout and my diet. Not only that, i gained back 2lbs. So technically i lost 13lbs. I don’t understand how i can gain it back when i’ve been doing the same thing over and over. Some say that it may be...
November 2009
3 posts
112809;
1; Been here in VN for about one month.. Lost approximately 12lbs? techinically i lost like 9 lbs in two weeks tho cause the first two weeks weren’t planned. But now since i’m in a workout/aerobics class three sessions a day and eating less.. FML. At the rate that i’m going, i hope to lose at least 30lbs before i go home. 30lbs in two months? We’ll see.. I hope i...
112309; SOO,
i don’t really get on tumblr anymore. Every once in awhile type of thanggg. Anyways, hasn’t even been a month yet and i’m definitely tired of VN. I’m ready to go home but home is two months away. & the thing is, when i go ‘home’ it ain’t even home to Wichita. It’s home to new-ol-lonesome-ol Texasss. It’s okay.. maybe...
111009; update:
so it’s been approximately almost 2 weeks since i’ve been in VN. Been on a strict diet.. hella workout plan. starting at this one place tomorrow its like they train you.. i hope i lose a lot of weight. i have all the peer and family motivation.. but the only one that would ever truly work is my owns and i dont even have it. SELF DETERMINATION AND MOTIVATION is what i...
October 2009
7 posts
102709;
I FEEL SO ALONE. the pain. the sorrow. & i thought i was happy..
102609; Attachment,
I hate myself for gettin’ attached so easily. Not just this but to anything & everything. It’s something i have to fix about myself. I’m so easily lured..
Fuck niggas like you.
102409;
leaving to vn in about 5 days.
i need closure. you can’t leave me hangin’ like this. you don’t know how much it hurts.
102209; GUILTY.
These past couple of days i’ve felt quite guilty.. why? i can’t be quite specific.. It’s too much & too embarassing. shameful. but i can’t help myself. i want it. He’s what i wanted for these past years. But i knew if i had the same nigga for four or five years that i’d truly love him. specially if i’m havin his baby. if i ever found...
101909; 2 weeks,
have gone by and i finally updated this thang. ANYWAYS,
so i’ve been officially living in htown for a lil over a week now. i love my house. & for some reason i ain’t as sad as i thought i would be. i’m actually FINEE. i mean yeah, i miss my friends back at home. it’s weird cause when i lived in wichita and moved to a town home and went to stucky for a...
100109; in 30 minutes,
im gonna be legal.. weird. hard to believe. surprising. excited. and i have a new life ahead of me in houston. new new new new life. i wonder how its gonna be ..
E i G H T E E N Y E A R S O L D .
AWWWWREADYYY! :D
September 2009
6 posts
092809;
So my birthday is in four days.. Finna be legal right quick! el oh el. I don’t think i’ll be in wichita for my 18th tho. My brother in law’s coming home tonight and then the big ol’ moving truck is coming tomorrow.. Which means packing’s finna start HELLLAAA. Eh.. It’s pretty official that the house in houston is bought so yeah.. This time it’s...
092009; HM,
You have the power to hurt me in so many ways. Taking your anger out on me when i didn’t even do anything, then talking to me when you feel fine. I hate it.. & yet i feel as if i always want you around even tho.. even tho you’re a bitch lol. ugh. hate the way you act sometimes i cant stand you! I HATE YOU AND LOVE YOU AT THE SAME TIME YOU FUCKER. >=O
So the other...
091509; As the day gets closer ..
I know i’m leaving soon. Sigh* Don’t even have the time to fuckin’ plan shit. As each day goes by i get sadder.. I know i’m leaving my comfort zone. The city i know pretty well.. & i’m going to a city i barely know and that’s FUCKIN’ HUGE!
I planned on printing like all the pictures i have for memories.....
091209; Better days.
It seems like things have been quite okay with me. Things have hit my face like hella; reality. But it’s aight. Me a couple others are cool now and i’m glad. Me & another are friends again i guess you can call it that. & i’m happy<3 I know i’ll be leaving people close to my heart on good terms.
So my sister officially bought the house in...
090909 ; Random,
Well the party from a few nights ago was pretty chill. Love dancing and singing! People were hella singing to this white song by miley cyrus, ‘party in the usa’. i was like wtf? lmao, iwas being a ‘hater’ in dizzy words. LOL.
For the past two days my alarm didnt go off and im like on the line at my job cause they was like ‘can you fix...