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1; Been here in VN for about one month.. Lost approximately 12lbs? techinically i lost like 9 lbs in two weeks tho cause the first two weeks weren’t planned. But now since i’m in a workout/aerobics class three sessions a day and eating less.. FML. At the rate that i’m going, i hope to lose at least 30lbs before i go home. 30lbs in two months? We’ll see.. I hope i can do it! CHEER FOR ME! :) I wanna go home and show everyone who believed in me, & say “Fuck the niggas who thought i couldn’t do it.” BITCH, I’M DETERMINED.
2; I really miss wichita, my mains, my dog, and my blanket<3 Me & my bestfriend are back on track. I miss all you guys terribly. I know who the real people are in my life.
3; I feel bad for my mom, she’s been home with cholis. I know she’s lonely.. </3 She has two more months before me and my sister come home. It wouldn’t be so bad if we were still living in wichita so then she can do whatever she wants, and go wherever she likes cause she knows her way around. & she has friends in wichita & my cousins at home. But in Houston? There’s not really anyone.. =/
4; Why do i keep having dreams about you? Yeah, i sometimes briefly think about you here and there during the day and wonder to myself, “Why do i miss sucha fucking jackass, no good, selfish, ass nigga?!” But even i can’t answer that.. But you? You probably still coldhearted and greedy.. All you care about is yourself. You never cared for me as much as you claimed. It was all a fuckin’ front. I hate you.. so much.
5; So, i know you really do like me.. a lot. Thing is? I don’t feel the same way. I sit there and tell myself, this nigga is a good guy just like him already. Ya know.. tryna force myself to like you. But when i’m talkin’ to you, i just don’t feel nothin’. I’m too afraid to tell you cause i don’t wanna hurt your feelings.. But honestly? How can it really work, especially now that i’ve moved to a new faraway city? How can you be so sure that i’m the one, when i don’t even feel the same way.. I don’t mind kickin’ it witchu when i get back, but… i just don’t want you to mistaken my friendship for anything more than that.. You told me you missed me all these months.. Never has someone told me and I actually believed them. But then, it doesn’t get me at my heart cause you’re not someone that I like. Harsh? Sorry.. I just want you to find someone. I don’t wanna hurt you. I’m sorry.
— Funny how life works. It goes back to that one quote about chasing the ones you don’t love, and ignoring the ones that love you. Romantically of course.. but it can go for friendship wise too.
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